Why is it that ... ?

… the best sleep I get at night is the nine minutes between hitting the snooze button and the alarm going off again?

… I make more money than I ever have in my life, yet I’m just as broke as I’ve ever been?

… at nearly thirty-seven years of age, I still like to check out the super hero action figure aisle at Toys R Us?

… I constantly forget to charge my cell phone?

… boxing is so damn hard of a sport?

… I have never had a 9-to-5 job where I could live life as one of those “leave work at work” kinda people?

… I spend every Saturday morning drinking nearly a pot of coffee and then spend the afternoon making all-too-frequent trips to the restroom?

… I have the most trouble writing the most basic scene in my latest play? I mean, really? It’s taking me forever.

… I get constant e-mails telling me about penis enlargement products? Who squealed?