Really? Are the Stars Trying to Tell Me Something?

Okay, so I'm a little freaked out right now!

I've never held much stock in astrology and birth signs and so forth, but something odd dawned on me today. I'm sitting putting birthdays and such into my planner when I suddenly notice that three of the most important women in my life all share birthdays within 24 hours. Two share the same birthday and the third's birthday is the following day. Two days, three ladies' birthdays. Weird.

And these aren't just "run-of-the-mill" women in my life. One was, quite literally, the first woman I ever fell head-over-heels for as a teenager. She was the first person I ever felt absolutely comfortable with. We had a unique (albeit, adolescent) chemistry together. I always felt that she simply accepted (and was attracted to) me for just being me. Some of my fondest teenage memories were simply just "being" with her. The second is the person I'm most attracted to in life -- and by attracted, don't just think sexually (although that avenue has been trekked) -- but, to be more concise, "drawn to." She is my best friend and the only person (outside of my boys) that I can honestly say I would move heaven and earth for. The third is somebody "new" in my life that I keep finding myself absolutely drawn to ... somebody I want to know better, spend time with, etc. The third person is, for lack of a better term, my latest (and greatest?) crush.

And it's just freaking weird!

So, I looked up our astrological signs online and found the following. To protect identities (although anybody that knows me can probably guess one or more of these people) I've replaced my "sign" with KING and their sign with LADY. Again, if you know your astrology, you can probably decipher all this and figure out who is who...

When LADY and KING join together in a love match, a relationship of realized dreams is formed. LADY is more of a thinker and philosophizer, easily drifting around from one pursuit to the next. KING is more inward, involved in the shifting of their own mindscape. They are opposites in some respects, and to outsiders may seem an unlikely pair. But as their love for one another grows, they are more likely to be able to satisfy the philosophical cravings of the other and maintain a healthy relationship.

LADY is outgoing and versatile, and in a relationship with KING often comes to the defense of their gentler partner. KING, in turn, gives LADY subtle understanding and a place to escape from their tireless endeavors. KING is a Sign that, like Water, adapts easily to its surroundings; KING tends to focus much energy on understanding and sympathizing with their partner. They are often more patient with LADY's aloofness than other Signs. LADY's active pursuit of knowledge combines with KING's gentle compassion towards others to give both partners a self-awareness that doesn't pass into egocentricity and isn't overly accommodating, such as KING alone may be.

LADY and KING are both ruled by the Planet Jupiter. KING is also ruled by Neptune. Jupiter brings exploration and outreach to both Signs. KING is concerned with this aspect in an abstract sense; they often find themselves trying to save the world (perhaps in the form of recycling or environmentalism). LADY, on the other hand, prefers to broaden their horizons through academics. Neptune is about big pictures, ideas and illusions; but it's also involved with disillusion and fantasy. LADY can help KING plant its feet on the ground. Jupiter works through KING to put a gentler touch on LADY's occasional hotheaded outbursts.

LADY is a Fire Sign and KING is a Water Sign. These two elements can form a great couple if they give in a little, using innate understanding of situations and people to get matters resolved. KING can offer LADY direction and help them learn to be gentler, while LADY teaches KING to go out and explore the world. This couple will enjoy traveling together. KING can be emotionally draining for the Archer at times, too much Water dampening LADY's fiery spirit. Conversely, too much Fire can boil the Water and leave KING steaming. LADY and KING must use their perceptive skills to enhance the relationship, always focusing on what the other needs.

LADY and KING are both Mutable Signs. Neither partner feels a need to dominate the relationship. They enjoy equality and like to see their ideas come to fruition. KING gets great happiness from helping LADY. LADY and KING enjoy dreaming up ideas and putting them into action. No one is preoccupied with end results; for this couple, the fun is in the journey! A lack of conflict over roles helps LADY and KING work toward the same goals with great success.

What's the best aspect of the LADY-KING relationship? It's that they can benefit from one another's wisdom and at the same time get along so well together. KING shows LADY how to empathize and care; LADY teaches KING how to turn fantasy into reality! The ability of each to provide what the other lacks makes theirs a truly reciprocal relationship.

So, now I have to ask myself ... should I just really quit pussy-footing around and go after this third, mysterious lady? Or maybe I should head back to Texas and look-up my high school sweetheart (who I have actually been in contact with recently and who has fired my imagination)? Or maybe I should just chalk this all up to coincidence... ?

Awesome Guys & a Blithering Idiot

One of the great things about this so-called "human condition" is our ability to take great joy and pride in the success and accomplishment of others. To take delight in the expression of another's dignity. To witness unselfish acts performed by others is to rejoice in the beauty of our existence.

Finale ... or a new beginning?

Outside of those two boys that share my name, I don't know that I've ever been more proud of a group of young men than I was last night at the finale of the World Series of Comedy. Two guys, Leo Hodson and Craig Travis, came to the conclusion that in comedy (or any performing art, for that matter) that competition is ... well, just plain redundant. As performers we are always in competition to get a gig, get a payout, find some stage-time. The two men decided that was enough and instead of staging competing shows, pooled their resources and staged on of the best shows to ever take place on the Brown Coat stage.

And then, when it was all said and done, and the prizes were to be distributed (since there was no "winner," per se) ... they upped the ante and decided not to take any money, but rather donate the cash prize to Laughing for Life, a comedy benefit show staged to raise money for local families negatively impacted by cancer. They gave it away ... in a generosity of spirit and attitude ... they gave it away! Bravo! They truly are the Justice League of Comedy!

A few people in the audience reacted in a confused, maybe even negative way. One of the regulars demonstrated to me just how clueless he is about generosity when he asked me, "so, who is the winner?" I responded, "Laughing for Life ... and area families dealing with cancer." He rolled his eyes. He didn't get it. Yes ... they kinda threw a big kink into the competition ... but they also sent a message: "we don't want to compete; we just want to bring the funny!" They brought the funny! They also brought compassion and largesse. That's bigger and better than any old competition!

Folks -- there's enough competition in the world! Sometimes it's better to join hands, mend fences if necessary, and just stage a good show. It's all about the show! So ... congrats to Leo and Craig! And to Kyle, Jeff, Hal and Anthony ... and to Krevens, Gordon and Papa D ... to all of you who realized that there are some things that are bigger than "who's better than who."

Blithering Idiot

I've noticed something about myself. In certain situations, my mind reverts back in time some twenty-five years and turns me into an awkward, shy, mumble mouthed teenager again. The one recurring situation is when I'm actually spending time with somebody who I am genuinely attracted to. (And by "genuinely attracted" please don't infer that it's purely sexual ... just simply somebody who I really want to get to know, spend some time with, etc.)

Yes, I'm speaking about somebody specific ... and no, I will not name names.

It is so rare to stumble across somebody that you have a good deal in common with, somebody that has experienced some of the pain and mistakes you have, that has suffered from similar wounds yet is wonderfully intelligent, good natured, compassionate and beautiful. One might think in that situation that I would rush to get to know this person, spend time with this person ... one might think. Instead I turn into a blithering idiot who doesn't know how to ask somebody out.

Ladies ... if I'm ever suddenly less charming and more ... well, let's say, "uncertain and slightly adolescent" ... than chances are I'm probably falling for you and have a huge puppy-dog crush on you.

Jeez! I'm thirty-eight years old! You would think I would grow out of this!

Grow some

Grow some cajones!

Fear is a terrible thing. It is defined as "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined" on dictionary.com. When reading that definition, the term that strikes me most is "whether the threat is real or imagined." I suppose that we all are confronted by fears that are real and react accordingly. It's the imagined fears, though, that seem to be the most paralyzing.

Like most performers, I have to struggle through stage fright from time to time ... but for the most part, I have always conquered it. In all honesty, I don't know how or why I am able to beat back that sense of impending doom ... I imagine that it is simply years of experience combined with decent preparation that allows me to (on occasion, at least) become fearless on stage. I've made a complete fool of myself so many times that I'm not terribly troubled about doing it again.

Working with a number of stand-up comedians lately (trying to develop material and help them find their voice ... while in the process, trying to find my own) I have been frustrated every time I see somebody holding themselves back. I have also recognized that the primary culprit is their own inhibitions and fear of looking, appearing or sounding foolish. Just last night I explained to a number of up-and-coming comics that "cool" and "comedy" simply cannot co-exist in your mindset. James Dean was cool ... but he sure wasn't very funny, was he? If you're worried about being "cool" onstage, typically that's the last thing people are going to think of you. "Cool" is being yourself. "Cool" is being fearless. "Cool" is the willingness to make a jackass out of yourself to bring a smile to somebody's face.

But ... that's easy talk.

The opposite side of the equation is when the performer is off-stage ... where we spend the majority of our lives. And it is off-stage that fear (real and imagined) affects me the most. I find it amazing that I can stand up in front of a room full of people and sling jokes and stories and feel absolutely comfortable ... but when I sit at a table in a restaurant with somebody whose company I really enjoy, I become mush. I get caught up in appearances. I become overwhelmed by an inability to speak my mind, express my feelings.

For example, if I am attracted to a woman who I do not know very well ... typically I become a bumbling fool trying to steer the conversation anywhere but where I would like it to go. It takes time to develop trust and comfort with people and until that threshold is crossed ... well, I don't express much of anything that is real, true or honest about me. I'm a fairly intelligent, thirty-eight year old man ... with a career, responsibilities, children ... but I can so easily revert right back to being that thirteen-year-old shy little idiot. A roomful of strangers is the most terrifying thing I know ... an audience full of strangers is gratifying.

Maybe it's just because I've been burned more in "real" life that I have on stage. I can tell an audience how great they've been and how much I appreciate them ... but I can't tell somebody I've just met that I really dig them, am attracted to them and would like to spend more time getting to know them.

I need to grow some cajones too!

Some Quick, Quick Thoughts

Summer is slipping away and I have not made nearly enough trips out to the beach nor taken any real time off from work … and I’m a little bummed about it. Should’ve gone swimming yesterday, but was feeling much too lazy to do much of anything. One of these days I have to get over that …

This past week was too, too busy what with long hours at work and three gigs (not to mention a little work in getting some future gigs booked) but I did learn a number of things. One, there are just some people who are too self-destructive for their own good and two, those people frequently haven’t the slightest clue that they are hurting nobody but themselves. I have to tell you, if you plan on ever succeeding at anything you need to learn to listen and to respect your peers. End of discussion.

We lost Bernie Mac a couple of days ago … honestly; I was never all that much of a fan. But I did respect the struggle he went through and think he not only deserved all the accolades he has received in recent years, but he deserved much, much more. He was an incredibly talented guy and his passing comes to close on the heels of our losing George Carlin. That’s two fewer great comedic minds in the world … and the world is a much sadder place without them.

Oh, by the way, Carlin’s last album (It’s Bad for Ya – released posthumously last week) is terrific … maybe the best thing he’s done in a decade. I picked it up at Best Buy this weekend and listened to it right away. It’ll probably be my iPod regular listen for the next several weeks. Go pick it up …

Having spent so many years up NYC-way, I was used to having to do battle with roaches. But now that I live in Wilmington, I’m having a completely different bug-infestation. Crickets! Little black crickets … in every room of my house … hopping around and then making a racket at night. When I was a kid I was told that killing a cricket is bad luck. Haven’t really meant to … but I’ve stepped on two or three this past week. So, once again, bad luck strikes at my place.

The Olympics have started again and I have to tell you … I like the events that don’t make primetime. Watching rowing on MSNBC yesterday afternoon was the most enjoyable “vegging out in front of the TV watching sports” moment of the year for me. But then again, I have to watch my Mets on the computer … so it’s like two different categories. Better chair in the living room though. That … and I had a can of cashews to munch on … highly enjoyable hour or two.

Okay ... I'm Back ...

First ... an apology ...

Yes, I know, it has been an obscenely long time since I last wrote in my blog and for that I do apologize to all three of my readers. I will re-dedicate myself to writing more regularly and try to get this thing back on track. And since I've been away for so long, I'll use this entry to just update you all on what is going on with the Daddy Hippopotamus.

Back on Stage

After several months of a hiatus, I started to get back on the stage with some regularity in April ... the comedy club stage, not the theatre. No, I still haven't any intention of doing a play again anytime soon ... although I am frequently tempted. After several weeks of playing to near-empty houses at The Soapbox open-mic in downtown Wilmington (and starting to feel like I was getting my sea-legs back) I managed to find myself an extra gig here and there ... playing at the Comedy Cabana in Myrtle Beach a couple of times, doing a competition at the Mellow Mushroom here in town, travelling to Spartanburg SC with some other comics to play a bar there, another in Wrightsville Beach and another next month in Carolina Beach. I was also the first headliner to play at the brand new Brown Coat Pub & Theatre in June and have since hosted the Wednesday night open-mic amateur competition.

In the last 3-4 months I have started to get back in a position where I enjoy my time on stage again. I have also been frustrated that, even in North Carolina and even in the world of comedy, there are still selfish, stupid and inexplicably childish people out there who think they have the right to dictate to me how I should run my so-called career. And as I have done my entire life, I have distanced myself from those people as much as possible. No more will I allow anybody (ANYBODY!) to dictate what my level of commitment to "the business" will be ... especially those without a tenth of my experience or an understanding of who I am as a man or a comic. But I have also been thrilled to work with seasoned professionals like Gary Conrad and Basile (two class acts and superstars in my book!) and to work with amateur comics who have just discovered this scary and crazy little profession of ours.

Working with the amateur comics on Wednesday nights and a few of the "pros" in the area, I can say that there is a certain level of camaraderie that has developed ... and that is nice. That is something I want to nurture because ultimately that is the biggest thrill I get out of the business ... helping another develop. I am perfectly at home in the "father figure" role because I will never be selfish in this business. There are some dynamite comics (hell, just dynamite people) down here and I thank each and every one of them ... for their friendship and for the hours (well, maybe minutes) of laughter they have brought me. I also have to thank Richard Davis and the folks at the Brown Coat for giving me a venue and a show to preside over and take of as if it were my own. That has done more to restore my "artistic" soul than anything else and I am forever indebted.

And on a more personal note ...

I am glad to say that, with the exception of a minor scare here and there, I am physically in better shape than I have been in probably about three years. Life is certainly not without some of the same pressures ... money is extremely tight, for example ... but having the luxury to leave work at a half-way decent hour, get my daily walk in and eat a moderately healthy diet has made a major change in my life. I haven't been getting out to the beach as much as I would like over the last few weeks, but that will change.

I came to Wilmington to restore some level of peace to my life ... and although I wouldn't characterize me as being "at peace," I am leaps and bounds closer to that ideal than I have been in the last several years. In some ways I am extremely lonely (thanks to the price of gas, I have not been able to get up and visit Ty nearly as much as I had hoped I would) but I have my creative outlets, a small handful of good friends, a good job ... and a better ability to fight back when the State of New Jersey wants to screw with my finances because they can't keep their records straight (but more on that in another post).

Alright ... so there's the update. I'll try to get this blog back in shape in the coming weeks. Thanks for visiting again.

Twenty Question Interview: Rich Warren

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1. Where are you from? I’m a military brat … I spent most of my childhood in Lubbock, TX.  2. What is your occupation? Actor,...

My Top Five Most Important Advancements in Human Society

1) The invention of the wheel

Somehow I doubt that the wheel was invented, per se. I imagine it was just discovered. I can see it now. Some caveman saw a round rock rolling down a hill and thought: “Holy smokes! Look at thing go. I bet if I got four of them and tricked them out I could over-compensate for my tiny crotch-club.”

2) The creation of written language

How difficult education must have been before we learned to read and write. All you could go on is life experiences (“Big toothed cat, bad! Unga Munga!”) and what others told you (“Look at this scar I got from the big toothed cat. It’s bad.”) and that was it. Then somebody had the brilliant idea of drawing images that could mean different words: “These little circles with lines coming out of them are people. The ones with boobs are girls. And this big circle with squiggly lines coming out from all over it? That’s means “sun”. And this magical upright walking cat-god means “Magical upright walking cat-god.”

3) Plumbing

Oh dear, what was the world like before plumbing? This thought crossed my mind this morning when I had a little bit of a toilet backing up mishap. Just imagine that this wasn’t an occasional mishap, but rather an everyday occurrence. Thank you, Toileticus, Roman inventor of indoor plumbing.

4) Electricity

Thanks to something of a scheduling snafu, when I first moved to Wilmington I spent the first five days without electricity (also, keep in mind that the movers would not arrive for a week, so I was basically without everything) and my arrival just so happened to correspond with a cold front blowing through town. So there I was without lights, without heat and without hot water. I thought I might lose my mind. And although my house is quite nice, it is not equipped with a fireplace. So I spent my nights curled up on the floor (wearing sweatpants, a toboggan cap and a hooded sweatshirt) using a towel and a curtain for a blanket.

5) Cashews