Misconceptions I Have Had

As you go through life, especially childhood, you start to develop thoughts and ideas that are completely inaccurate. Words have different meanings that what you had first envisioned, the real lyrics to that song you like are completely different than what you thought … little pieces of your world shatter and crumble under the weight of the truth. Typically, none of these misconceptions are Earth-shattering, but they build up as you grow older leading you to doubt each and every little thing about your life, yourself and your world.

The following is a list of things I have discovered I had misconceptions about at some point in time in my life:

1) The ‘60s Batman series was meant to be funny. Who knew? As a kid (with a kid’s point-of-view) I always assumed that Batman was a serious superhero show, much like the Filmation cartoons. Sure, there might be a funny gag or one-liner here and there, but Batman was filled with exciting (if poorly executed) fight scenes. I always loved when Batman and Robin would work together (for example, Batman might swing Robin around so that Robin could karate kick the heck out of some henchman) and I was never distracted by Cesar Romero’s mustache under all that pancake. It wasn’t until I was well in my late teens before I realized the show was supposed to be campy and fun and wasn’t until I was well into my twenties that I got most of the humor.

2) The meaning or theme behind Jean-Paul Sartre’s No Exit is not, “Life’s a bitch and then you die.” And I’ve actually performed in a (really, really bad) production of the show. Y’see, I’m just not all that deep.

3) Russian race horses do not have urinary problems. Okay, so I bet you’re waiting for an explanation on this one. One saying I heard from my father time and time again was, “I have to piss like a rushin’ racehorse.” Obviously Dad was referring to a racehorse who was actually in a hurry, but in my mind I always pictured a Soviet horse with furry hat and all needing to pee. Rushin’, Russian … let’s call the whole thing off.

4) Wisdom does not come with age. Sorry folks, but as I get older I just don't see that wisdom creeping into my consciousness. The American Heritage Dictionary defines wisdom as: "The ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting; insight. " As I approach my 37th birthday (quite literally just days away) I can honestly say that I am no better at discerning what is true or right any better than I was when I was 21. Maybe it'll all kick in when I reach 60 ... assuming I ever get to 60.