Thinly Veiled Messages

I honestly try not to be too much of a complainer. But as I’ve mentioned in this blog before, one of the real pains of working with a certain type of person is that you develop close and important relationships that come to an end simply because the relationship, regardless of how powerful it appeared to be, was only based on the work or that brief period of time. Next thing you know, you’re dropped like a hot potato and these folks move on to something else. (Notice I didn’t say “bigger and better?”)

I’ve never agreed with this mentality although, in all honesty, I’m probably just as guilty of it. I’m no better than anybody else. But it is frustrating in so far as you start to realize that your circle of friends is primarily based on what project you’re currently working on. As somebody who works on few projects because I spend time developing my own (and therefore go through fairly solitary periods of time), I find myself not necessarily lonely, but perhaps jealous of others who constantly have a large group of people vying for their attentions.

Remember high school? Everybody … and I do mean everybody … had their own little clique or niche that they fell into. Some people carry those friendships through the rest of their lives. That just wasn’t my style. Not that I didn’t care for those folks … just that our lives were going in vastly different directions.

Having spent a little time thinking about people who I genuinely care about but don’t really have contact with, I decided that I would write little thoughts and messages to them. Since many have certainly expressed disinterest in hearing from me, I figured I would just post them here to be read (and wondered about) by everybody. I have thinly (and I do mean thinly) disguised names to protect the innocent, the guilty and the few pains-in-the-ass.

A lot of these messages are a bit indignant … I apologize for that, but I’m just in an indignant mood today:

To Mattress Store Partner: I hope your decisions, which I completely respect and appreciate although I simply cannot agree with, have made you confident about your future. But could it ever be as intense and passionate as you imagined it would be? Have you read the Catholicism yet? You deserve respect and attention … I hope you’re getting it … but you know as well as I do that the flash and spark in your eyes isn’t what it could be.

To Deck The Halls: I still love ya, babe. You’re easily one of the two or three coolest people I’ve ever met (and I’ve met Willie Nelson, Buddhist monks, Derek Jacobi and David Lee Roth). You just got it wrong, that’s all.

To Dramatica: Wow … you sure know how to make a guy feel important, huh? It’s a shame that honesty wasn’t your strong suit. Caught me off guard ... what with you meaning the world to me and all ... it should've been amazing. I just never knew what was happening the other half of the time, huh?

To The Original Three: Guys, you’re missing out on something big. In life you can choose to either be a part of something great or to get lazy and watch greatness pass you by. Trust me, I’ve done the latter … it’s time to focus on the former. While you guys are off in the back laughin’ and jokin’, my ass is out front just a-cookin’ and a-smokin’!

To The Big O #1: You know, I never minded that other people thought you were bat-shit crazy. Didn’t even mind the fact that you are the epitome of a drama queen (I have a long and lovely history with drama queens). What surprised me was how self-centered you are … how’s that working out for you? Turn your back on anybody else recently? Give ‘em hell at the library.

To The Big O #2: And people bitch about Big O #1 being a drama queen.

To Caliban: Do you spread lies about everybody or is it just me? Makes me think that beyond being incompetent, you’re just intimidated …

To The Token: … and your ass had better be intimidated. You never were and never will be in my league, so clam the hell up.

To Chiki: One of these days you’ll get out of the habit of sabotaging your own life … just don’t expect anybody to still be around to congratulate you.

To The Electric Company: Thanks for blowing me off. To this day I don’t know why my hopes were so high.

To Bacchus: Speaking of blowing people off … did I become a leper or something? Or are you just not allowed to hang with folks with strong personalities? And since when did I develop such a strong personality?

Now let the debate begin … “Who is he talking about here? Is that me? That son-of-a …” … and if a message wasn’t directed towards you, it probably means that you are actively a part of my life and for that I offer my most sincere thanks. Those few … “those happy few” … are greatly cherished.