Fantastically Talented

Growing up a comic book nut, I was amused when a friend of mine compared The Talented Talent Brothers to one of my favorite childhood comics. So amused, in fact, that I rushed right out and wrote this blog entry. This friend (who shall remain nameless in that she doesn’t want the world to realize that she’s secretly a comic book geek) came to see Weasel Erotica. We later talked about how the show really had the structure and took it’s hat off to the old comedies of by-gone days. I mentioned the Marx Brothers, my admiration for them and how I’ve always seen the Talent family as something similar. She replied, “No, you’re not the Marx Brothers ... you’re The Fantastic Four!”

Intrigued, I probed for further clarification. “Well, The Fantastic Four were family as well ... extended family maybe, but a family. A brother, his sister, her husband and her husband’s best friend.”

Okay, but it’s not like The Talented Talent Brothers have ever saved America from Dr. Doom or kept Galactus from devouring the planet. It’s not like Weasel Erotica displayed any kind of heroism in it at all. How are we like The Fantastic Four? She broke it down for me:

Matt ‘Mo’ Talent is The Thing. Now, no disrespect to Matt here ... but the comparison had more to do with personality and importance to the group. Matt is not covered with an orange rocky hide, he doesn’t come from Brooklyn and, as near as I can tell, does not possess super strength. The point made, however, is that Matt is the foundation of the group. He’s the soul of the group. His part in Weasel Erotica, and his performance, grounded the show in its own reality. Matt was the vaudeville comic in a vaudeville show. He is the heart of the act. And like The Thing, he’s the one always striving to be better, to make a connection. He’s our backbone and we all lean on him ... okay, I can deal with that comparison.

Next, Tony King is The Human Torch. Okay, when I first heard this one, I laughed. Not at the absurdity, but because I grasped this comparison right off. The Fantastic Four’s Human Torch, Johnny Storm, is young, impulsive and a bit cocky. Tony fits that bill just fine. Both are good lookin’ guys who you can trust to push things to the limit ... The Human Torch pushes going supernova, Tony pushes the envelope by asking gay monsters what its like “guzzling cum.” (Sorry ... blame Tony ... I’m just reporting what happened here.) The Human Torch is a star and Tony King is certainly our star as well.

Now for the one that I really enjoyed ... Melissa Jo Talent as The Invisible Woman. Well, at least we’re keeping the genders in line here. The joke is that upon seeing Weasel Erotica, Mel would be The Invisible Woman ... she’s the one who never appeared on stage, being our director and all. And as Matt is the soul of the act, Mel is very much the heart. In the comics she’s the one keeping the boys in line. She’s the one nurturing and watching out for them. She’s the only level-headed one ... Mel tries her best to keep her boys in line too and is often the only one with any common sense. The Invisible Woman is the one who never got any appreciation in the comics but was, to tell the truth, the most powerful of them all. In recent years she’s been drawn as a little hottie too ... all of which are fitting for Melissa Jo Talent.

Finally that leaves me, King Talent, as Mr. Fantastic ... or as most people refer to him, Reed Richards. Funny that I should be the one superhero in all of comicdom who’s known by his regular name because his superhero name is so lame. Reed’s character is more known for his intellect than for his ability to bring down a super villain. He’s the genius in the comics and, as it was pointed out to me, I was the genius behind a little silly something involving weasels and scantily clad women. Reed’s ability to stretch was originally an analogy for his personality ... always reaching for the stars. He’s the team leader, but he’s also fallible. It was his mistake during one fateful journey to the stars that caused his friends to be bombarded by cosmic rays. I am certainly no genius, but I am the one constantly reaching for something larger than what we are now. I’m the one that got this little group together and I’m the one ultimately responsible for any and all mistakes The Talented Talent Brothers make ... well, except for that “guzzling” line ... that’s all on Tony. But I did lead us on that fateful journey to be bombarded by some idiot podcasting critic.

Too bad they already made that Fantastic Four movie ... we would’ve been perfect for it after all. And Mel sure would’ve been a damn site better than Jessica Alba.

Something Or Another About Doors

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell

I hate endings. It seems that lately all manner of chapters in my life have come to an end and I’m left mourning what is lost. To make matters worse, change in one’s life requires effort. I hate effort too. I like when things are handed to me and I get to feign surprise ... it doesn’t happen very often, but I like it.

The next chapter coming to an end appears to be my living arrangements. In many ways, this is self-induced. I’ve been living comfortably above my means for several years now and my new motto is “simplify.” So I’ll be moving very soon. I am fortunate, though, in that I found a awesome (albeit small) little railroad flat not far away that I really like. It will require me to get rid of a ton of stuff I’ve accumulated over the years (I never realized what a freaking pack-rat I’ve become), but in some ways that is refreshing. It’ll be a different life and a different lifestyle ... but one that will be much easier on the pocketbook. The best thing about this place is the magnificent view of Manhattan. The worst thing is that I just can’t imagine how I’m going to get my couch up there. The timing sucks ... really, really sucks! More news on the move soon. Gonna put down a deposit on the place tomorrow ... then try and figure out how I'm gonna get all my crap into either storage, the garbage or to the new place.

The most recent chapter to come to an end is, of course, the four week run of Weasel Erotica. I’m proud to say that we had a ton of fun and that the show really drew some very good sized audiences (with a couple of near sell-outs ... man it sure beat out all those performances of Abnormal Stew for a half-dozen people) and certainly did wonders in terms of elevating and tightening the Talented Talent Brothers. The act will go through another growth and evolution and I find that extremely exciting. But while I listened to other actors talk about their respective next projects and such all I could think was, “man, I need a break.” So a break I shall have. It’s time that some of those things I’ve neglected for so long get some attention ... y’know, the mundane things like my health, my happiness, my Mets and cable television.

I need to spend more time throwing at a backstop.

That doesn’t mean that things really slow down at all for the Baby Hippopotamus. Quite the contrary ... my one-man show is developing nicely and is on track for debut performances this winter. I’m tweaking a script that will likely be the next Talent Brother vehicle and I’m looking into producing a handful of other options. After a few weeks of “Weasel-Detox” I’ll probably pick Gary and Weezie up and the three of us will collectively decide what to do next with our madcap little show. I can promise you one thing ... you haven’t heard the last from these weasels.

If you haven’t gathered it yet, I’m the kind of guy who never loses sight of his dreams. I just frequently get aggravated that the fight takes so much energy, so much dedication, so much of your heart and soul. Getting motivated is easy ... getting re-motivated is always the challenge.

“Obsessive, compulsive, suffocate your mind;
Confusion, delusions, kill your dreams in time;
You ask me how I took the pain;
Crawled up from my lowest low;
Step by step and day by day;
'Til there's one last breath to go”
– Paul Stanley, “Live To Win”

Amazing ... a blog entry that was really supposed to be about how exhausted I am has become a laundry list of the creative plates I’m trying to keep spinning.

If I Read Books I Couldn't Read Blogs

Well, I've officially been blog-tagged for the first time by the delightful, lovely and always interesting Nerdd and, since it’s a topic near and dear to me, I’ll go ahead and respond. Yes, SabilaK, I actually do read.

In fact, one of the main reasons that I could never live in a small, cramped apartment is because I need plenty of room for the unbelievable volume of books I own. I’m almost something of a book collector. Some people take home stray dogs, I take home stray books. I walk by bookstores with their little carts out front advertising 25 cent books and I walk away with arms filled and a wallet that’s several dollars lighter.

So, in answer to the Nerdd’s questions:

1) One book that changed your life?
Hamlet by William Shakespeare.
Has always been, and likely will always be, the most important piece of literature I have ever encountered.

2. One book you have read more than once?
Harpo Speaks! by Harpo Marx.
A long, fun, wordy biography … yes “wordy” … from Harpo Marx, the clown who never spoke. It’s eloquent in its simplicity. I probably read it twice a year.

3. One book you would want on a desert island?
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.
Preferably the Arden edition. Enough said.

4. One book that made you laugh?
The Benchley Roundup
A collection of sketches and articles from one of the sharpest humorists of all time, the always-amusing Robert Benchley. "It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous." -- Robert Benchley

5. One book that made you cry?
The Dresser, by Ronald Harwood.
Imagine an actor listing another play. Humph ... who would've thought it? I performed the title role in this show back in ’91 or ’92 and have read it dozens of times … and I wept each and every time.

6. One book you stayed up all night to finish?
Actually a few months ago I stayed up all night to finish Treasure Island, by Robert Louis Stevenson.

7. One book that took you too long to read?
Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens.
Ironically, it’s one of my favorite novels … even though it took me months and months to finish. I’m afraid to read it again because I might be on Social Security before I finish it.

8. One book you are currently reading?
One of David Feldman’s Imponderables books.
Yes, sometimes I like to read fluff … educational fluff, but fluff nonetheless.

9. One book you have been meaning to read?
I Had the Right to Remain Silent...But I Didn't Have the Ability by comedian Ron White.

10. Now tag five people:
But, I don’t know five people. Tell you what ... if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged!

Do Big Things & Do Them Well

I found this letter the other day while cleaning house. It was under the bathroom sink and I can’t think, for the life of me, how it could have gotten there. It’s from my grandmother (“Granny”) and was written when I was very little. Considering Granny passed away when I was about 8, you can guess how old it is. It’s written in blue ink on a single leaf of paper from a small pad which has stayed in remarkable shape. It reads:

“Dear Richard,

The little fellow who stayed with Granny and Granddaddy not because he wanted to, but because we wanted him. He was so lovable and sweet. Now you are so much bigger but still lovable. You are a very dear guy. You can charm your teachers. As you go through school and think it will take so long, remember it is just a little bit of your life. Grow big in ways and size. You have talents that you can use in life. Richard, do big things and do them well so Granny can be proud of the little guy I helped get started. Granny’s love will be with you and help you.”

I wept for nearly an hour.

My memories, unfortunately, of Granny are sketchy at best. She left us when I was very young. To this day, though, I have the lamb she gave me for my sixth birthday. He sits proudly on my chest of drawers (having spent many years as my bedtime companion) minus his nose that a dog chewed off sometime near the end of the Carter administration. I have fuzzy recollections of her killing a snake with a hoe and the sheer admiration and respect she instantly earned from my brother and I. I recall she stayed with us during her final days. Beyond that, most of my memories of my mother’s mother are lost.

And yet when I read this letter I wept.

A phrase in the letter all but haunts me: “... do big things and do them well ...” In all honesty, I think I have spent my entire adult life attempting to do big things, but without any real success. Maybe it depends on your definition of “big.” I have tried endlessly, and with much sacrifice (more than you, dear reader, will likely ever know), to use my so-called talents to do big things. I tirelessly continue to do so. I continue to sacrifice. But I haven’t done any “big things” yet and grow skeptical that I ever will.

In some ways, I am ashamed. In some ways I feel that perhaps I may have let my beloved Granny down. I have dealt with so much loss, sacrificed too much. Then I begin to think that simply surviving is the biggest thing of all. Maybe in her last days, that is all Granny was trying to tell me: “Survive, little guy, survive.” And my faith, which wanes from time to time, at least allows me to acknowledge that Granny’s love has indeed been with me to help me.

Thank you, Granny.

Bland, Useless, Tired, Shop-worn, Dog-Earred Jokes

I found this mumbling sub-par podcaster who gave us a little audio review. This guy is ever-so-prepared to make his recordings and I find his barely coherent, stumbling rambling to be quite amusing. The internet breeds negative folks like this ... guys who would like to believe that they are so much more intellectual than they really are. Guys who fancy themselves as liberal newscasters of some sort. This guy admits to not even staying for the entire show, spells out one of our actors names because he's obviously too intimidated to pronounce it, obviously wasn't paying too much attention to what little plot our little play has and closes with the obviously well-thought-out critique of "It sucks." With all that tossed at us, how can I really be offended? I want to be offended ... but it's like when a kid calls you a "doo-doo head" ... more cute than offensive.

As a counter-point, here's a quote from Martin Denton's blog (a quality guy and a quality reviewer, in my opinion) on the topic of reviews from last year: "My own view, when I write a review, is that I'm engaging in a conversation with the artists who created the show. The conversation starts when I enter the theatre. My job is to listen to the artists and try to hear what they want to tell me; to open my heart and mind to the experience inside the room, to actively engage myself in it, and to receive whatever's there to receive. Then, I go home, think about what happened, talk about what happened, and eventually write down a response—my half of the dialogue, back to the artists."

At least I've never read Martin's response as being, "it sucks!" He has a touch more class than that. He's not a "doo-doo head."

Ahhh ... the sweet smell of success.

That's right, "success." Our goal is simply to have fun and give our audience an opportunity to have fun as well. On top of that, we're all about getting a rise out of our audience ... had our little audio critic friend stuck around for Act II he would've heard our legal disclaimer about getting a rise out of our audience ... and in at least one instance, we certainly did that.

This fella's blog entry also reads, "... recommends Weasel Erotica for anyone seeking to squander a modest sum of cash for a miniscule portion of fun, a minute level of creativity, featuring an infinitesimal amount of talent ... To the production company: If Weasel Erotic [sic] is the best you can do, here is a career recommendation for all those concerned, including but not limited to: the writer, the director and the cast [He then links us to WalMart's webpage.] My only question is, with all the "Talent" listed in the program how come none of it showed up on the stage?"

Oh my goodness ... we've gone from "doo-doo head" to "poopy pants" in no time.

Immediately upon finding this useless, tasteless review ... I shared it with everybody I know. Why? Because although this guy obviously thinks of himself as a critic, he's no such thing. He's just trying valiantly to be insulting. He's just a rambling guy with an opinion ... that I welcome him to share. Nail us to the wall, my friend. The Talented Talent Brothers are big enough to take whatever pot-shots you want to dish out. Go ahead and take your little shots at our "sub-par actors with a sub-par script" because we find it nothing but amusing. It reminds us that we're on the right road. Good reviews, bad reviews ... at least the word is getting out. For that, we thank you!

Hey, Weasel Erotica is silly. Weasel Erotica is fun. Weasel Erotica is positive energy in the form of good (and not-so-good) jokes streamed together for no other reason than because we like doing it and our audiences like to laugh.

"You can't please all of the people all of the time, and last night they were all at my show." -- Mitch Hedberg

Also on the topic of reviews, feel free to visit this post from back in January to get my opinions on the subject. Whether the review is good or bad isn't nearly as important as getting your facts right ... this fella didn't even bother cover those bases. Instead of drawing his information from the program itself, he pulled it off of out-of-date info posted on a website three months ago. Way to pay attention ... "doo-doo head."

The Reviews Are Coming In

The first reviews for Weasel Erotica are in and I just couldn't wait to share them with you. I am amused that both reviews mention that the show is neither Shakespeare nor Moliere. Oh well, I guess that teenagers and theatre students hundreds of years from now will not be required to read excerpts from The Collected Plays of King Talent.

Let's start Fred McKinnon's review from onoffoff.com:

WEASEL EROTICA
Genre: Comedy

Reviewed for OnOFFOFF By: Fred McKinnon

A Shakespearean comedy it is not. Nor is it in the realm of Molière satire. Oscar Wilde's wit is nowhere to be found. It, indeed, is what its press material promises it to be: "madcap farce." Baby Hippopotamus Productions' "Weasel Erotica" is-without a doubt-wacky, zany and frenzied with an implausible plot, outlandish characters and copious amounts of comic shtick.

As the play opens, zoo employee Harry is attempting to drum up business for his boss when Mr. Grimm, the bad guy, reveals that he wants to close lovely Alison's animal enterprise so that he can use the property for greater financial gain. Enter wealthy widow Ms. Rittenrotten, who is nothing like her name suggests, and a plan is hatched to acquire two Brazilian Trouser Weasels (double entendre?) to generate customers and prevent the struggling animal park from folding. Professor Wagstaff, whatever his name suggests, is then enlisted to take care of the rare animals (Kitty and Ray-Ray), who eventually-in the guise of puppets, enthusiastically manipulated by Kimi Winkler and Jennifer Sandella-perform a mating ritual dance during which Roy (Allison's boyfriend) does a striptease. But that is not before Wagstaff, for perhaps some hidden meaning, relates "The Story of the Haunted Ship." There is also a scene in which the Monster-From-Under-Your-Bed makes an appearance, disrupting a romantic encounter.

These are just a few of the entanglements in Act I of this theatrical romp under the unpredictable direction of Melissa Jo Talent, who also had a hand in the chaotic script, along with King Talent and Daniel Guyton. The cast of nine do a fine job in what, I suppose, they are supposed to be doing, but particularly outstanding for me (unambiguously a high point) was Ms. Rittenrotten's (Rebecca Sponseller) singing rendition of the Gershwins' "Embraceable You."

After free refreshments being offered during intermission, Act II resumes where the play left off and swiftly (in less than a half hour) comes to a happy, if not completely logical, ending with a coda of a dancing musical finale.

Earlier in the evening I had asked the couple sitting next to me what brought them to this particular not-so air conditioned subterranean theater on a steamy summer night. Their answer sang the praises of Off-Off-Broadway. "This is the New York tourists don't know about. You're never sure of what you might see, but the actors and actresses give it their all. They always seem to be having fun." After my experiencing this production, that seems like the most reasonably rational conclusion for wanting to attend "Weasel Erotica."

Next, M. Stefan Strozier reviewed the play for The audience Review, a new quarterly journal of short stories, poetry, plays, reviews and interviews ... find out more at www.worldaudience.com. It reads, in part:

The Talent Brothers’ production of Weasel Erotica was very professional, and it was well acted and directed. My only criticism is with the script, which contained too much exposition, though this is a flaw of practically all playwrights, at every level. The play was written by King Talent, with additional material by Daniel Guyton and Melissa Jo Talent. The desire to speak to the audience, and to explain to the audience what is happening, rather than letting the characters explain what is happening, exclusively through action, is a harder habit for a playwright to break than crack cocaine (though I’ve never partaken). I have seen very few (modern) playwrights able to break this habit. Weasel Erotica’s plot, centering on the closure of a zoo, is complex and its scenes fit together well. However, the scenes were very different from each other, which caused the main theme, or plot, to become unglued from the sub-plots, at times. But again, who am I to criticize, as I don’t know where the balance exists, between plot and zaniness. And, I’m not convinced anyone else knows, either. The Talent Brothers are admirably wresting with this conundrum. Still, the funniest scenes were the ones that were the most zany, even if those funniest scenes seemed to temporarily, altogether disregard the plot. Perhaps, that’s what made those scenes funnier than their brethren: A funny scene was so flippant and spontaneous it threw the plot out the window and cared not about it. Weasel Erotica even featured a few song and dance routines. The song and dance scenes worked very well with the action and I wished there had been more of them. Naomi Austin is the choreographer. In fact, Rebecca Sponseller has a marvelous voice, and sang her number with amazing passion. Melissa Jo Talent, the director, clearly understands farce, and all its nuances. The actors’ business was un-ending and always funny, from various objects being pulled out of woman’s bra (and then being returned to their receptacles), to lots of curvaceous, scantily clad women getting sprayed with water and becoming wet, or at least “hot and bothered.” The actors were funny and the blocking and timing and tempo were all precise and well-orchestrated. All of the actors were top-notch and put forth valiant effort and art: Amy Kersten as Alison; Anne McDaniels as Flo; Jennifer Sandella as Ray-Ray; Rebecca Sponseller as Ms. Rittenrotten; Jeremy Sykes as Gergory Grimm; Kimi Winkler as Kitty; Tony King as Roy; Matt ‘Mo’ Talent as Harry; and, King Talent as Professor Wagstaff. Additionally, the lighting design, by Raven, was excellent, and it balanced well with the action. The animal wrangler was Kelly Heaton, although the only animals in the play, as far as I could tell, were the trouser weasels, which granted, were wrangled. I went to see this play, in part, in search of those weasels; and, I found them. All in all, this was a bold, professional production, well acted and well directed. If the script gets a few dings for not being consistent, well, at least The Talent Brothers are putting forth the effort (and money) to present farce to an audience of New Yorkers. Perhaps, this is just want that audience needs. And, I had an enjoyable time at this play. I wish it the best of luck.

So, much thanks to Mr. McKinnon and Mr. Strozier for the coverage. It is greatly appreciated and good to know there are folks out there who feel it important to cover, review and give credit to NYC's off-off Broadway theatre.

Jane Austen's Pride & Exhaustion

A few hours have now passed since the end of our second performance of Weasel Erotica ... and what a week it has been. I am feeling a bizarre mixture of pride, apprehension and exhaustion. We have now given two performances to good sized crowds who certainly seem to be enjoying the show. At least no one has rioted yet.

Some of the folks in the show have asked me how I feel ... and it's really difficult to answer. I once heard an analogy saying that creating theatre is like a woman giving birth ... painful and filled with anxiety and once the process has begun, you can't go shoving that baby back in. It's out there, for all to see. In some ways I am fortunate in that I am also in the show and therefore am not out in the house helpless to do anything to save my baby should disaster arise. Because I am part of the production, I don't necessarily get to watch any of the other scenes and can, in all actuality, listen to very few of them. I just trust in the work of these talented folks on stage, have faith in the direction that Melissa Jo has given, do my best while I'm out there and just hope that there's at least somebody in the audience who gets it.

Mallory Jensen over at the Gothamist appears to get it ... here's what she wrote for our listing:

THEATER: Baby Hippopotamus Productions' new comedy Weasel Erotica may sound like something you don't even want to know about, but fortunately the show probably won't live up to your fears, unless your fears are of a show that's unrepentantly, and delightfully, silly. Melissa Jo Talent directs a cast that includes her brothers King and Mo (collectively, the three are "The Talented Talent Brothers") in this farce in which a rare performing weasel is brought to a town's zoo for the purpose of raising money to save the zoo from an evil land developer; then the world's only flying weasel expert has to be hired too, and the game is on.

You see, sometimes I think folks just want a show that doesn't necessarily mean anything, but is just a good time.

The Load In

Okay, so Thursday was "load in day." For those of you folks who might read this who are not familiar with theatrical terminology (I have a hard time buying that there is such a creature!) that simply means that over the course of one day, the day before we open, we have to load all of our set and props into the theatre, hang and focus lights and do all that technical stuff to get the show ready to roll. When you operate off-off Broadway and have no real budget, that means the cast doubles as crew and works their collective ass off for 24 hours.

Add to that a heat wave in NYC and a well-ventilated, yet un-air conditioned theatre and what do you get? A whole mess of sweaty and exhausted folks doing some hard-core manual labor. But that's when you know you've got a group of troopers ... everybody in this cast busted butt to get everything ready. I am fairly certain that I lost 6-8lbs in the sauna that was our lives for a day and may very well have suffered a minor heat stroke. Somehow it all came together, somehow it all got done. Don't ask me how it happened.

Now, on to business ...

After two years I'm really starting to believe that the Talented Talent Brothers are actually a justifiable property. Now we have a good and proper vehicle that grew out of last year's experience with Abnormal Stew. Tony and Matt have been on fire on stage and Mel's done a remarkable job getting this thing all put together. This is hands-down the best, most enjoyable cast I've worked with in New York. They all get it. They all understand that sometimes it has to be more about having fun and less about all the intellectual garbage that the theatre all-too-often breeds.

Have fun ...share the fun. It's not an overly complex mantra, but it's the one I'm operating on. It's time to get butts in seats and get some buzz going on in NYC. Stew was the infant crawling ... now we're a gangly teenager running wild. When this act finally matures, I want to be able to move on it ... we deserve it. These folks deserve recognition. They deserve the sweet and juicy fruits of their labor. (Jeez ... I'm letting about half-a-dozen dirty jokes go unwritten right here.)

So I'm feeling that it's time to put away the creative part of my persona for a bit and start to concentrate on the more managerial role. Equate it to having a band ... you find the players, write the songs, get the set good and tight ... but who comes to your gigs? How are you going to eat and pay rent? That's the question I now must answer, not only for myself, but for the family. It's just so damn overwhelming to create, riff and let the juices flow while trying to manage a business ... all on top of a day job that foots the bill and a personal life that is ... well, convoluted to say the least.

I think I'm finally going to read Gene Simmons' book on business ... this guy turned a flashy rock band into a merchandising machine ... maybe I can learn a thing or two from the fire-breathing demon. I would love for the Talented Talent Brothers to become vaudeville comedy's counterpart to Kiss ... 'cause after all, we rock and roll all night and party every day too!

Lastly, a big thanks to Rebecca for all of these rehearsal photos ... she's my hero!