Everybody Has One

"Opinions are like a**holes, everybody has one!" This is something my father told me time after time. Then again, he also told me, "nobody pays you to think" every time I expressed my unwanted opinion. Well they didn’t then, and they don’t now. Funny how wise my old man was.

This thought crossed my mind as I read a review of my latest play this afternoon. The review was neither glowing nor was it scathing. The critic brought up a handful of points, some of which I could agree with and others that I don’t agree with. So, how do I react, as an actor, to a review? "Is my name spelled right?" That’s it. Otherwise, who really cares? Everybody who sees any particular show (or film, or concert, or whatever) is going to walk away with something different – glorious things we are, human beings – and those opinions are going to run the gamut. As long as it eventually helps promote the show (or film, or concert, or whatever) then I’m happy. After all, the key here is to get butts in seats.

Martin Denton over at nytheatre.com had a really great conversation regarding reviews and the role critics play, especially in off-off Broadway. You can check it out at: http://www.nytheatre.com/nytheatre/i.htm

The Blithe Spirit review

Many years ago I directed a production of Noel Coward’s Blithe Spirit. We didn’t have much of a budget, but really developed a fun and lively production of this classic. I had played the lead in a production about five years prior, so I had several solid ideas of what I wanted to do with the show. It was just a pleasant working atmosphere throughout the rehearsal process. The night the critic came we threw a cast party. We stayed up all night singing, dancing and drinking. Then, around 3am, the actor playing Charles and I ran to get copies of the paper. I’ll never forget what happened next.

The review was very positive. Very! My two lead actresses received a paragraph of praise each. They deserved it! (Cassie, Alison ... all these years later, I still agree!) They were awesome and I was lucky to have them in my show. But the lead in to those paragraphs mentioned the actor playing Charles with this, "... does a fine job expressing Charles’ initial worried reactions and later forced resignation, but the more delicious fun is supplied by ..." and then continued praising his co-stars. Not a bad little bit there, huh? Coward always wrote the juicier roles for Gertrude Lawrence and the other ladies who appeared in his plays, so even getting mentioned tells you what a fine job this particular actor did.

So, what happened? He flipped out! That’s right, we received a very nice little review (with a big color photo of the two ladies), boosted the box office significantly and even the smaller roles (including the Bradmans, who tend to be forgotten in this particular play) got mentioned ... and this actor is ticked off! He was genuinely offended that his fellow actors received "better" mention in the review. He pissed and moaned and pouted for the rest of the run. A perfectly lovely experience was almost ruined because of one actor’s ego. Made me want to go all ninja on his egotistical a$$!

Have I mentioned that I hate actors?

I decided then and there to never really care what a review says. My ego would never be that needy. As long as something gets printed and helps promote the show. Too many shows go completely unnoticed, I simply appreciate the effort taken to come see us and write a line or two expressing what they thought. If it’s constructive too, all the better. I’ve found that I’ve lived a happier life with the ability to put my ego in check now and then.

So, for today’s addition to the old Hippopotamus’ blog, I thought it would be fun to throw you a few quotes from the many reviews I’ve received. Yes, I keep them all. I laugh at them and enjoy them ... both the good and the bad. They bring back memories of actors I worked with, good times and horrible arguments, sets that were immaculate and others that were barely able to stand, talented directors who helped me grow and others who I secretly mocked behind their backs, large audiences that stood at my curtain call and small audiences that were already in their cars by the time I made it out for my bow.

More Good than Bad

I hope this doesn’t come across as bragging, but I have been fortunate enough to receive more good reviews than bad. I’ve also received more than my fair share of "blah" reviews that did nothing more than give a synopsis of the show. I’m not going to waste your time by quoting from the good ones ... what fun is that? But here are some of my favorite negative reviews:

In the mid-90's I directed an "original" adaptation of Judgment at Nuremburg. The script was not as strong as it maybe could’ve been. A little too episodic and it borrowed way too heavily from the classic film of the same name. Because an actor left the show just before we opened, I took over the role of the German’s legal counsel. I was concerned about my performance because I hadn’t had much time to rehearse or prepare. Shows what I know. Here’s my all-time favorite quote from a review:

"Rich Warren, who gives one of the plays better performances, also commits near-unpardonable sins as director." The compliment served as the set-up for the knock out punch. Sins? Ha! At least I believe in the forgiveness of sins ... let’s hope this isn’t the one that sends me South when it’s time to meet my Maker. If it is, I will issue a formal complaint.

Another show I directed elicited this response, "... is thoroughly inconsistent, with gaps separating the laughs and certain actors far more willing and able to dive into the required pool of silliness."

Here’s why I got out of the design business: "Rich Warren’s set and lighting design is a bit of a disappointment." The critic was right ... it wasn’t all that great. But it gave me one of my favorite personal mottos: "Stick to the acting and directing thing, ol’ boy."

As an actor, I’ve been accused of chewing more scenery than you can imagine. The list of those quotes could go on for days. But I have to include this one ... from Tom Stoppard’s The Real Inspector Hound ... it rocks!

"A bad sign. The play ends and the audience remains seated, silently stealing glances at one another, waiting for someone to lead. No one has turned on music or houselights. Finally, cast members emerge from backstage, ready to find their cars and go home, and one patron is heard to ask an actor, ‘Excuse me, but is the play over?’ Yes. Unfortunately it wasn’t over 20 minutes sooner."

Lesson learned. Every show I produce or direct has house music at the end of the show. And if the audience is still sitting there, I go out and thank them for coming as I escort them to the door. Turns out audiences want to know when to leave. Who’da thunk it?

The Whales

I invite you all to come form your own opinion of M. Stefan Strozier’s latest play and my performance. We only run for two more weeks, so get your tickets now! Head back to http://www.babyhippopotamus.com/ for info on how to come check us out. Hope to see you there.