What Makes You Happy?

Everybody has periods of unhappiness, right? Sometimes I find myself in the middle of one of those periods and I ask myself, "what makes you happy?" Seems like it should be an easy question to answer, but it’s not. If it was, we wouldn't have a growing industry devoted to the prescription of medications for depression. So, I turned to a group of experts. The following is from the University of Arkansas Cooperative Extension Service with my comments in parenthesis:

"Would winning the lottery make you happy? (Hell, yeah!) Not likely. (Liar!) According to David G. Myers, a happiness researcher, money does not buy happiness. (Hey, Mr. Myers, you obviously have never met me!) Rich people are no more happy than people with average incomes. In addition, older people are neither less nor more happy than young people. And men have no advantage over women. (No joke?) So who is happy?

"Only about 10-15 percent Americans identify themselves as truly happy. (Ironically, the poverty rate in America, as cited in the Census Bureau’s 2005 report is 13.5 percent, so maybe money doesn’t make you happy?) Certain personality traits, such as extroversion (got it), agreeableness (working on it), and conscientiousness (uhm ...), are related to happiness. However, in the right situation, anyone can be happy.

"Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (How happy can he be? He has a name nobody can spell or pronounce.) has observed that people are most satisfied with life when their work and leisure life provide them opportunity to use their skills. (But what if don't have any skills?) Somewhere between the anxiety of being overwhelmed and the apathy of being bored is the ideal mix called "flow." Happy people have more flow. (And folks like me who go from one extreme to the other without any rhyme or reason? Oh yeah, we're bi-polar.) They are appropriately challenged in ways that allow them to personally contribute.

"Happiness has also been linked to meaningful relationships. (Ah ha! I’ve always said happiness is a gift one’s loved ones give to him or her. So if you’re unhappy, blame the people you love! It's their fault, for not fulfilling your need to be happy. If you have no loved ones, blame your mother.) Individuals who are happy are supported by close relationships with family members, friends, and fellow employees. Such relationships help fulfill our need to belong to something bigger than ourselves. (Say, for example, a cult! Time Magazine had it right!) The network of friends and family also provides us with opportunities to help or be helped. If we are to maintain a healthy balance in life, we will eventually need help from others. Perhaps this partly explains the finding that married individuals, both male and female, are on average happier than single individuals. (And a butt-load happier than divorced, separated or widowed people!)"