Urgent, Urgent, Emergency

Make it fast, make it urgent
Do it quick, do it urgent
Gotta rush, make it urgent
Want it quick
Urgent, urgent, emergency
-- from "Urgent" by Foreigner

I'm torn. I can't quite tell if we, as a society, are just getting lazier or if I just seem to be running into people who don't seem to ever be in a hurry. See, I'm a busy guy. I work hard. I play hard. I do everything at 100 mph. I'm almost always in a rush. I have deadlines to meet. Places to be. Things to do. And everywhere I turn, there are people just moping along and getting in my freaking way.

The office building I work in is a prime example. These people are supposed to be working, right? Then why is it that it takes them half-an-hour to go grab a drink? Why are people waiting ten minutes for an elevator that's going to take them to the 2nd floor when there's a stairwell not five feet from where they are standing? Am I the only one in the building that has work to do? Success only comes after work and there are only so many hours in a day ... I have responsibilities and goals and dreams ... and if I'm to meet them, then I gotta get a move on. I can't stand watching people who genuinely don't care if they miss a deadline, disappoint a client or friend and would much rather just drag their feet from place to place.

Or just take a walk down 42nd Street this time of year. Hundreds upon hundreds of people, just lazily walking to and fro. Aimless people doing nothing with their lives but blocking my way. Freakin' move, already!

Hey, I'm all about rest and relaxation. Why just this weekend I was leisurely dancing in the rain to zydeco music, eating crawfish and drinking Budweiser. Enjoyable, relaxing hours spent at a slow pace because for once I didn't have anywhere else to be, or anywhere else I'd rather be. But that's the exception to the rule. By all means, stop and smell the roses people ... just step to one side so the rest of us can get on with our lives.

Viva Las Vegas!

It looked like it was going to be hit-or-miss for a while there, but I was finally able to return home to Vegas for a few short days. Man, how much the Strip has changed since I was there last. I wasn't in Vegas for five minutes before I ran into my first Elvis. He was off-duty, but the sunglasses and sideburns gave him away. Had a little chat with him and we sang "A Little Less Conversation" in front of Denny's to the surprise of a few dozen tourists. King and The King giving an impromptu performance on the Vegas Strip ... a truly bizarre and magical experience.

I can't express to you how nice it was to be back in the desert heat, actually get a little color on my lily white self (maybe somebody will stop calling me "Casper"), see a few shows, perform a couple of shows, spend a little time in the casino and generally just enjoy myself. I've forgotten how much I miss showgirls. Showgirls are one of the things that make the world go 'round. Give thanks for showgirls.

Let me tell you one major difference between New York audiences and Vegas audiences ... there's a whole different level of receptiveness in Sin City. Maybe it's because most everybody in on vacation. Maybe it's because the drunk-to-sober ratio is quite a bit higher. Maybe it's just the warm weather. But audiences laugh harder in Vegas. I think the tackiness of the whole city infects people's minds and makes them more willing to laugh at the worst jokes.

I actually had the courage (re: stupidity?) to ride the rides at New York New York and the Stratosphere. Those who know me know that I'm less than enamored of rollercoasters. And when we went racing up the needle at the top of the Stratosphere some 90-plus stories above the ground pulling three Gs of force I was sure that I would never strap myself into another ride. But it was midnight, the city looked like little specs of light and I wasn't all that nauseous ... liquid courage had gotten me through another ordeal. Thank goodness for my old friends Jack and Coke.

Weasel Update

Well, rehearsals have just begun on Weasel Erotica and I already have two observations. One, Mel did one heck of a job casting this show. I mean she was on the money. She found a nice group that blends well with Tony, Mo and I and brings some unique energy to the show. Yeah, big talk two rehearsals in, but it bodes well for the future. Two, this script of mine might actually work. Everybody had doubts here and there, but it's starting to become obvious that we have a nice little shell to hang Talent Bros insanity on.

The Vegas trip really re-energized me and I'm excited to bring that energy to Weasel Erotica. I'm gonna need it 'cause there's a lot of work to do. Next step is to become a publicity machine ... so I'll start with this: "Come See Weasel Erotica ... it's very, very funny." Okay, so I need a better sales pitch. I'll work on it.