Let's be real for a moment ... we all lie. Maybe little white lies, but we all lie. Its human nature to withhold a truth or try to control another's perception of us. We've all made up excuses for why we were late for work or school. We've lied about our successes and failures ... what's the difference between telling so-and-so that you make $60,000 a year when you only really make $48,000 ... and we probably all lied to our parents in a vain attempt to get out of trouble when we were children.
You lied to your boss. So what? Told your Mom a fib about how well you were doing in school. Who cares?
Unfortunately some of us will lie to ourselves.
You can get away with those other lies ... you can trick and deceive others ... but you can't really deceive yourself. Or can you? I've certainly never been able to pull it off. I'm too emotional ... too riddled with guilt. It's not a question of self-awareness, but rather a question of being too sentimental and temperamental. But I discover more and more that others are capable of doing it. You can convince yourself, or at least appear to convince yourself, that the lie is truth ... and maybe it is, but it isn't your truth. It's just a lie that you think is better than your truth.
Sometimes it seems to be an attempt to conform. Your friends and family all believe that you should think this way or that, that you should have this particular opinion, they advise you that you should take a course of action that you don't really feel is right. And you do it ... you go along with it ... even though in your heart-of-hearts you know it is wrong. Hell ... the idea might have been yours to begin with! Sure, it seems like a good idea ... it seems like the right thing to do or feel or think ... but is it? You fight with that doubt as your inner-self tries to assert control, but you beat it back. You force yourself to believe in a non-truth. And you have to live with those repercussions.
The unfortunate thing is that you can't really fool those who have an honest bond with you. Just as you could never quite fool your parents and just as your children can't quite fool you. Because while they may hear and acknowledge (and perhaps even believe) your lie with their eyes, ears and brains ... the hearts are also speaking to one another ... and you can't fool a heart. You can only fool yourself.
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