Woe Mule, Woe

Tee hee.

Sorry. I was just giggling at that clever little title. I think it’s kinda funny. Gimme a second here, won’t you?

Sigh.

Alright. All better now. Let’s get down to business now, shall we? Now, I know that way back when I wrote my first entry in this blog I promised I wouldn’t write any political editorials … but I’m about to go back on that promise. I apologize in advance and I’ll endeavor to do my best to prevent it from happening again. But with Super Tuesday now behind us, I just have to say one thing:

“Democrats are stupid!”

There. I said it. Now let me just qualify that a bit. I am a lifelong registered Democrat. I have almost always voted along party lines, much to the disappointment of my mother. In fact, to this day I remember well being ten years old and telling my mother that I was a Democrat and that I supported President Jimmy Carter. She was aghast … and that might’ve been the first time I ever disappointed my mother. I have donated money to liberal causes and campaigned for liberal candidates. I am a Democrat … there you go. But even knowing that, I must reiterate:

“Democrats are stupid!”

I can hear you now. “Wait a minute, King. If you’re a Democrat, how can you say that?” Well, I don’t mean that all Democrats are stupid. Many of us are very intelligent people. But the party itself? Stupid.

The Democratic Party has long been the party of idealists. It is one of the true beauties of our party. The problem comes in election season … we put idealism ahead of pragmatism every four years … and we’ve done it for decades. You always hear arguments on television about the Democrats trying to find a “viable” candidate during primary season. That’s why Bill Clinton was such a revelation … for the first time since JFK the Democrats had a candidate who could actually win. (Yes, I know Carter won as well, but everybody must know that was more of a reaction to Nixon and Ford’s pardoning of Nixon … any well spoken Democrat would have won that election).

This year we have two extremely interesting and powerful candidates who are neck in neck in terms of winning the nomination, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. They are articulate, well-meaning, well-funded and wonderful candidates.

And neither has a chance of winning in November.

This election was supposed to a “gimme.” With the increased disapproval of President Bush and the war in Iraq, everybody has assumed that having a Democrat in the Oval Office come January was a foregone conclusion. And then the Democratic Party (and all of us, mind you) blew it.

“But King, it’ll be history,” I hear you say. “We’ll either have the first black President or the first woman President.” Well, if you believe that, then you need to get in your car and drive east or west, depending on which coast you live on (and chances are that, if you do believe that, you live on one coast or the other) and get out in that middle part of the country. You know, that place they call “middle America.” That place filled with cows, blue collar workers and Republicans.

Instead of selecting a “viable” candidate, once again we are pinning our hopes on the shirt of an ideal. We need to get over ourselves. We just can’t seem to pick a candidate that can really win in November. “That’s not true,” you say? Oh … let me just double check with President Al Gore. Oh yeah … he didn’t win either.

Folks, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but the country just isn’t ready for a female President and it just isn’t ready for a black President either. And don’t you dare call me racist. I’ll have you know that the first election I ever cast a vote in was the ’88 Presidential primary … and that vote was cast for Rev. Jesse Jackson. This isn’t about my racism (or sexism), but about the general pulse of this nation. Yes, I agree we’ve made great strides in terms of equality and Civil Rights … but what makes you think we’ve come all the way ‘round? And why should we gamble the highest office in the land in trying to prove how far we've come?

Hey, I hope we have a woman President one day (just not Hillary) in my lifetime. I would love to see our country led by an African American, if for no other reason than to show the world that our country has evolved. But I just don’t see it happening. Not this year. Not yet.

Do you even realize why Mitt Romney’s numbers have just taken a nose dive and he’s suspended his campaign? Why wouldn’t the Republican Party support the one candidate that is truly a conservative through and through? I hate to say this … but because of his religious beliefs. C’mon, do you honestly think that a Mormon can carry states in the Bible belt? The Republicans, as they always do, are narrowing the search down to candidates that can win.

And win they will.

So don’t be shocked, idealist Democrats, when we’re watching the swearing in ceremony of John McCain. We had our chance. We had great candidates who we just didn’t support … Biden, Edwards, Richardson. We had candidates that could actually win. We just didn’t support them. We jumped on bandwagons, just like we do every four years, that are determined to collapse (see: Dean, Howard and/or Kerry, John) and now we have to ride them to the bitter end.

Hey, I would love to be proven wrong. I just don’t see it happening. Again. Oh, woe!

Tee hee.

Woe, instead of Whoa. Clever, huh? The mule is a donkey … get it? Donkey, Democrats. Whoa! Ahh … I kill myself.

Nobody asked you if you thought it was funny.