So I'm checking facebook the other day and am scrolling down my newsfeed. Nothing terribly interesting to report … comedians promoting their shows (for those of you who don't know, all of us comics are friends on facebook for some reason), a few silly videos posted, some of my artistic friends posted photographs and two or three of my friends were reporting what they were having for dinner. Then I saw a post that only caught my eye because it had nearly twenty comments (and now it has around 60). Curiosity got the best of me and I read it.The post itself was from a comedian working in South Texas who I don't really know (a good fifth of my friends list are comedians I don't really know) who posted something along the lines of “I'm headlining a show and if you don't like it, you can kiss my ass.” The responses / comments ran the gamut from “good for you” to a ridiculous tirade telling this particular comedian that he has no right to headline a show and that he's weakening his local comedy scene by doing so because he's never really worked a real comedy club.
Comedians bitching at one another because their egos are so fragile? Sigh.
For those of you who are not in the “comedy business” (God bless you) let me take a moment to explain the issue and terminology. Although a comedy show may be presented in many different formats, the one most frequently used (with variations and with good reason) includes a host or emcee, an opening act (or guest spot) who performs anywhere from three to ten minutes, a feature act (frequently called “the middle”) who performs twenty to thirty minutes and then the headliner who will do anywhere from forty-five minutes to a little more than an hour (yes, some headliners will boast about being able to do longer … I'll address that in another post). Although I have always agreed with this format (if booked correctly, the show builds nicely to a crescendo), the more and more I work in this business, the more and more I laugh at how comedians want to label themselves.
Don't get me wrong … there's a very good reason we all want to be considered headliners. Headliners typically make more money. The problem is, more than a few people in this “business” only want to be considered headliners because they want to stroke their own delusional egos. For one, I don't speak of myself in those terms. Taking a look at the work I did in 2010, I headlined about 60% of the time, featured about 30% of the time, did a couple of guest spots and hosted a large number of the shows I produced. However, I do not affix one of those stupid labels to myself … because I am much more concerned about the show than I am my performer's ego. Trust me … I've seen more than one so-called headliner who couldn't carry his weight … the business is filled with them. I've also seen features who shouldn't even be doing anything other than an open-mic. But its not really their fault … that responsibility falls on the booker.My thought has always been to arrange the comics in a line-up that benefited the show. That line-up may or may not be based on experience. For example, having a high energy feature with a low-key headliner may not always work out. When booking shows, I always try to find a line-up that benefits the show itself, not the individual egos of those involved. The question for me is: can they fill their time and fill it well? And yes, I will admit, I've made some mistakes booking folks who couldn't fill their time and (worst of all) couldn't fill it well.
Back to my facebook friend: his biggest detractor was a fellow comedian who appears to have more experience but, from a quick Google search, not all that much really. This detractor appears to have carved himself a little niche as a house comic in a couple of established clubs and … well, that's all. But, since he's worked in clubs whereas this other fellow appears to have worked mostly in alternative venues (bars and clubs, for example), he obviously feels superior and entitled to tell somebody how to conduct his business. I don't know this guy either … he may be an awesome fellow … but he comes across as a self-righteous dick hole. Who the hell is he to tell a fellow comic what he's capable of?
To top it all off … the show is for NO MONEY (a mistake, my friends) and is being produced by the would-be headliner. So really … who gives a f*ck?
My advice to the first-time headliner: if it is what is best for the show (and you honestly believe that) the DO IT! Screw the detractors. However, if the show would benefit from a different line-up (perhaps you have forty-five minutes, but some of it is not all that strong), then investigate that route. Do what is best for the show on that particular night. Period. End of story. It really isn't any more complicated than that.
My advice to the adamant detractor: shut the hell up! Do your talking on stage, because otherwise you come across as a massive prick. You may be right … this guy may not be able to carry the “headliner” load … so how does that affect you? You're not even on the bill. You don't like this guy? Then don't work with him. Or better yet … why don't you feature for him and blow him out of the water?
My advice to the both of them: get rid of this antiquated thinking in terms of headliner, feature and so forth. How about referring to yourselves as comedians? How about taking the slots you are offered (or booked) and making the most of them? How about paying attention to your own business and career and letting your fellow comics take care of theirs? How about (here's a novel thought) you support one another and help push one another to be better?I don't think of myself in terms of headliner or feature … I think of myself as a comic. That's it. And frankly, I'm barely that … only in the past year has comedy become my primary source of income, only recently has it become my job. Sure … I get aggravated as hell when I hear some kid from an open-mic who has never taken home a paycheck call himself a “comedian,” but I typically keep my freakin' mouth shut. It's a “title” I've worked hard to earn … not everybody deserves it … but even then, the mouth (at least publicly) stays freakin' shut!
I'm a comedian. You guys are comedians. How about we just leave it at that?
